How May I Help You?

Saturday, September 16, 2023

Home is Where?

Hello there, 

It's me again. In an effort to make this blog look like a more personal archive, I plan on changing the name to something that sounds a bit more me, Idk! I've a few options in mind but it would take a while to choose. I'm so exhausted lately, I don't know why. Oh, it's the weekend and it has been quite an interesting week mentally for me. This Saturday in particular was nothing special, it was just chaotic and I don't like chaos. I was about to write something but I forgot what it was.  

Oh yes, I remember now. Home!! What is home to you? I mean how do you define home? Someone said to me when I was in high school "Home is where the heart is" and that has stuck with me forever.  I made home out of someone until another person said "Don't make home out of people cuz they leave". Well, that person was right. Everyone who gave me sane advice and taught me valuable lessons left or I left or maybe we just drifted apart. Well not everyone, but the majority. I will be forever indebted to them for these lessons. 

Anyways, like I was saying. Home! I have been in search of my home for the longest time. I mean don't get me wrong, I have a great family, a great house and great friends but, well, there's a but. 

But, I haven't felt at home for a long time. How even do you feel at home? What is that feeling exactly? 

Maybe, writing about my feelings so openly isn't a good idea and maybe I should've written everything anonymously.  But, oh well, f**k it. I already have a bunch of notes on my phone that aren't ever making it anywhere. 

I don't know what home is or how it feels to be at home. 

One day maybe I'll find my home. For now, I find solace in writing, reading and confiding in Bangtan. That's right, I am an ARMY and the fangirl in me is bound to come out sooner than the later. 

I have no freaking idea if anything that I wrote above made any sense at all but I just poured my heart out. Maybe, I'll find my home someday. Maybe I'll just keep wondering and wandering. Either way, it's a beautiful life. 😍 
 
Love🥂,
A❤️💜


Tuesday, September 12, 2023

Hello Again 👋

Hey Readers,

It's been a long time since I have been here talking about life or just anything at all. I doubt anyone is reading this right now but if you somehow accidentally stumbled across my post, hi, I am Airene and if you are a tiny bit interested in knowing anything about me, all you have to do is go through this blog and that might give you an idea. 

So, I figured I'd just download the blogger's app and start writing anything and everything on the go so expect more such random posts from me. 

As for me and my life, I doubt there's much to share. My life has been quite boring lately although I am not exactly complaining.  After all the storms and challenges in the last few years, I'm relieved to have some boredom, says the girl who once hated being bored. 

All I would say now is "Everything happens for a reason" 

Stay tuned if you want to know more stories about a stranger on the Internet.  I promise it's not all dull and depressing, it gets fun and interesting too. 😉

Love,
A❤️🥂

Monday, February 13, 2023

LOVE - THE DOVE

I nurtured a dove
Whom I named love
For quite a while
She was a selenophile
Love gazed at the moon
As it made her swoon 
Her gorgeous ruffles shone bright
In the night light
Love was a delight
I wanted to keep her safe
In my embrace
Forever, I recall
Little did I know
Forever was an illusion
Flying high and free was her decision
She was a queen
Of everyone's dream
But all she wanted was to fly and never look back
I was sad, taken aback
As she whispered her wishes 
To my face
My heart sank 
As I drank
the pain away
accepting her way
to let her sway
and off she went
Her wings spread like a tent
looking like a star
While I wonder
If she'll ever come back
I know she will never
I can't let go, however
I wish for her peace and happiness
Knowing she will win over the world with her finesse
Even though I and LOVE Part ways
She'll own my heart always 
💜🙏🏻
                                                ~Airene




Sunday, November 27, 2022

The Road Trip

"Oh, the car broke down and it's raining!" Elena exclaimed.

They got stranded in the middle of nowhere. It was raining and they were driving for a while. Both of them were hungry. So, the car breaking down that too in a secluded place did them no good. 

Both of them got out of the car and started walking in hopes of finding a place to rest and eat- a shelter for a few hours. 

Few Months Earlier

Elena didn't know much about this guy. This was their first real date after hanging out virtually for a while. Well, the thing about Elena is, she's an introvert with high social anxiety or as most people would say- Weirdo!

But, the people who really know her, know she is a lovable person. Although, she's one of the strongest people you will ever come across. Umm, to put it right, we can say Elena is a toughie but a goofball full of love and practicality. 

She's a hopeless romantic with trust issues so she's too scared of falling in love. She believes in the concept of soulmates but she has given up on finding her soulmate or a partner. Well, to be honest, she has had her heart broken into pieces and she gave up on finding love.

Ever since then she just focused on healing and working. A lot happened in between but one fine Saturday afternoon, while she was scrolling mindlessly through the pointless reels on Instagram and fangirling over her favorite music group, she got a notification that somebody followed her.

Since it was the weekend and she had nothing to do, she decided to stalk this follower. He was a good-looking guy, some kind of entrepreneur, loves music, has a dog, and surprisingly is also into classic literature and fiction. 

She didn't believe it at first and thought that the entire feed was made up to attract people. She decided to play the game and hit 'follow back'. That's how it began. It took him ages to convince her that he is real and he is not trying to fool her. 

Well, it was not love. They just clicked pretty well. Elena values friendship more than anything else and they became very good friends. 

Girl with a laptop in a cafe

Never, in the whole relationship, or whatever they had going, he forced her to meet or do anything. It was all moving at a pace they were comfortable with. 

One day, while face-timing, he blurted out without thinking much "you know it's high time, we should meet". 

He was just pulling her leg and he knew the obvious response. But, to this surprise, Elena said "okay, let's do it".

The Current Chapter 

Finally, they met, he picked her up and they planned to go for a drive and food. 

This is when the car broke down and they had to find shelter somewhere for a few hours. 

After walking for a while, they found many cars parked in front of what looked like a cottage. 

They went to it and it was crowded with people. It was a beautiful cabin in the woods. 


Unfortunately, the rooms were full and they were escorted into the dining hall where they barely had any place to sit. It was chaotic and loud. 

Elena hates chaos and he knows that. She started complaining about how poor the management is, and how unorganized everything is. 

While this went on, they ordered food and the food turned out to be horrible as well. 

Elena: "ugh, I'm so sorry for today. This is why I told you meeting me ain't a good idea. I'm sure, this is not the date you expected". 

He just smiled. They sat there observing the surroundings and everyone around was complaining about how poor the management is. 

Time went by, and a staff member soon came in and informed them that their car was repaired followed by the manager, who saw him and got shocked. 

He stood in front of the room and asked everyone what their complaints are. He asked the manager to fix things as soon as possible and he'll come back soon. The manager shook his hands and showed them the way out. 

Elena asked, "hmm, that was weird. Why was the manager obliging to your questions? You looked like you know him". 

He smiled and asked her to come outside. They came out and he said "look up" pointing at the name board.

He owned the damn thing and he promised that he'll take care of things to make it better. 

They sat in the car and it started shaking. 

"Elena, Elena wake up, we have to leave" exclaimed her mom. 

Golly gosh, it was just one of her silly dreams again. Elena smiled and proceeded with her day. 

It was trip day for her family and that's why her mom woke her up at dawn. 

The whole family was supposed to go on a road trip to the beach out of town. 

They got ready and left for the trip. Everyone was having fun and the atmosphere of the car was lit. 

A few hours into the trip, the car broke down. 

"Okay, while this gets fixed, let's take a pit stop here. Let us find something, have some food and relax for while" said Elena's fun uncle.

They started walking and her brother said, "look there's a cabin ". 

Elena stood outside the cabin, shocked and surprised. She murmured, "How is this even possible?" 

She looked up at the board and it said "Elena's Castle". 

"Hey, look it's your castle, Elena," said her dad. 

Everyone laughed and went inside. 

Elena was taken aback by what she saw. It was the same cabin, the same interiors, only better, that she saw in her dreams. 

Everyone seemed to recognize Elena and welcomed the whole family. 

"Look, you're famous here. Maybe, they had nothing to do and read your crappy books or blogs" her brother teased. 

She was quiet and she still couldn't believe where she was. How could this happen? She never knew of this place, she has never been here before.

While everyone was relaxing and having a good time, she went out to take a look at the surroundings. She clicked a few pictures and wandered around for a while, sipping coffee and reminiscing about the dream.

They had their food and it was time to leave. The car was also repaired. 

Elena walked out with her family. Her heart was full. One last time, she looked back at the cabin, and the name board and smiled. 

"Elle, come on. It's getting late" 

She went inside the car and embarked on the rest of the journey with a happy heart.

Artwork By Aishani- my little niece

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Characters, businesses, events, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.


Sunday, September 4, 2022

It's Been A While!

 It has been a while, you guys. I have been thinking about this blog a lot lately. I kept thinking about why I started this blog and what I wanted to convey. I also kept wondering about various ways to grow this blog.💓

However, I kept coming across a saying recently that goes something along the lines "I blog for young girls who wants to feel seen and heard". Unfortunately, I did not save the whole thing and I cannot find the exact lines. 

This kept me awake for a few nights. I started this blog to write my heart out and share the most vulnerable sides of me, the sides that make me question life, the sides that nobody has seen.  I never started this blog with the intention to grow. 



While growing up, I did not have anybody to look up to or any adult to have a conversation with whom they will understand my perspective. I want to become that adult for you. Even if this reaches one of you and if you are struggling with life, know that I am here to hear you out. 

I won't judge you based on your age or problems. It might seem something tiny to someone older than you but if it's bothering you so much, then I am sure it is a huge problem. 

I have friends who are younger than me and they often reach out to me with questions or advice or just to have a general discussion. I want to create that safe space for the beautiful, young people out there. You can say whatever you want here. I will listen. You know why?

Because I wanted someone to listen to me too. I wanted someone to be there beside me while I was struggling without judging or lecturing me on how others have it worse. 

I am no professional and I am not a perfect human being. I won't give you therapy sessions but I want to be a friend. A friend you can trust, you can confide in. 

Am I the happiest person now? Hell No! I am far away from being happy. I just know how to deal with these feelings and how to not let them get to me. 

Also, I cling on to hope for dear life. No matter what, I do not give up hope, ever! That's what I wanted to say to ya'll. 

I will try my best to post frequently on this blog. Meanwhile, if you have any questions or if you want me to write on any particular topic, leave them in the comments. 

Just in case, you want to share something without revealing your identity, something that's bothering you a lot, use this form 💜