I stood there like a mess, tears dropping from my eyes, water droplets running through my tresses.
I started wondering why can't I keep myself in check, why can't I control these flowing tears, I wanted to stop but I couldn't.
I was out of breathe, I wanted to scream, I wanted someone to hold me while I was losing myself and hug me saying "it's okay"
I was searching for someone to calm me down but there was no one. Maybe a warm touch would have made me feel better, maybe a palm on my head would have comforted me.
But there was no one. I kept crying while standing and sitting in the shower, I kept struggling to breathe. At that very moment, I wanted to scream and tell the world that I'm tired, I'm too tired of fighting. I'm tired of everything.
For once, I want someone to listen to me, to care for me and to be genuinely there.
But, nobody would understand right? They'll invalidate what I feel by saying "don't get depressed" and "others got it worse" or they'll probably not even listen.
How can I say that I did not choose to feel this way? I hate feeling this way. My broken heart is further breaking into pieces and I don't know how to express myself.
If I don't put this out, I'm probably going to pass out from feeling so overwhelmed. I need to get this off.
I'm being too much right? Overreacting maybe? Maybe I'm.
People will come with their opinions but when you need them the most, you'll have no one.
Just another day huh? Just another meltdown in the shower.
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Life goes on. 🙂
~Airene
