It's Been A While!

 It has been a while, you guys. I have been thinking about this blog a lot lately. I kept thinking about why I started this blog and what I wanted to convey. I also kept wondering about various ways to grow this blog.💓

However, I kept coming across a saying recently that goes something along the lines "I blog for young girls who wants to feel seen and heard". Unfortunately, I did not save the whole thing and I cannot find the exact lines. 

This kept me awake for a few nights. I started this blog to write my heart out and share the most vulnerable sides of me, the sides that make me question life, the sides that nobody has seen.  I never started this blog with the intention to grow. 

While growing up, I did not have anybody to look up to or any adult to have a conversation with whom they will understand my perspective. I want to become that adult for you. Even if this reaches one of you and if you are struggling with life, know that I am here to hear you out. 

I won't judge you based on your age or problems. It might seem something tiny to someone older than you but if it's bothering you so much, then I am sure it is a huge problem. 

I have friends who are younger than me and they often reach out to me with questions or advice or just to have a general discussion. I want to create that safe space for the beautiful, young people out there. You can say whatever you want here. I will listen. You know why?

Because I wanted someone to listen to me too. I wanted someone to be there beside me while I was struggling without judging or lecturing me on how others have it worse. 

I am no professional and I am not a perfect human being. I won't give you therapy sessions but I want to be a friend. A friend you can trust, you can confide in. 

Am I the happiest person now? Hell No! I am far away from being happy. I just know how to deal with these feelings and how to not let them get to me. 

Also, I cling on to hope for dear life. No matter what, I do not give up hope, ever! That's what I wanted to say to ya'll. 

I will try my best to post frequently on this blog. Meanwhile, if you have any questions or if you want me to write on any particular topic, leave them in the comments. 

Just in case, you want to share something without revealing your identity, something that's bothering you a lot, use this form 💜

2020: It's a wrap!

Hey everyone, how are you all doing? It's New Year’s Eve. 2020 has finally come to an end now. Woah! What a crazy year it has been. From forest fires to the deadly pandemic to a destructive cyclone- we have seen it all this year. We have also lost a lot of people this year- from loved ones to legends. It has not been an easy year at all. So, I wanted to publish a post to bid adieu to 2020 and wrap things up. My last post was about self-healing and hope. Things might get a little awry in this one so please bear with me and remember at the end of everything, there's still hope. ❤

 

Well, personally for me 2020 did not begin on a great note. I had to go through something that was very draining emotionally. I would not get over it ever. But, the show must go on and I could not give up on life. So, I continued to push myself and live. What I taught was living was barely surviving. I kept on working and working to distract myself. I did not sleep at all. All I did was work. I barely ate anything. I did not take care of myself. I overworked to the point that it drained me. Then I lost a family member who was very special to me. I did not speak about it, and I would like not too, since words cannot express what I felt. 

Life came to a standstill. I used work as an excuse to distract myself everything that was happening. Things got overwhelming. So, at the end of October, I decided it was too much and I need to slow down. I need to face my feelings, my emotions and stop running away from it. So, I took a break from everything and started facing a bunch of emotions that were being piled on. It was a lot. When I say a lot, I mean a lot. It became hard for me to breathe. I lost interest in everything. I stopped talking to everyone and went on a hiatus. My health started deteriorating, my mental health went haywire and I had a major burnout. I am still sick but I am glad I had that burnout. It is still not easy but I am doing much better. 

One good thing that happened is that I became extremely comfortable being by myself and doing things alone. It also helped me get rid of a lot of toxicity and negativity. Although, I am not at my absolute best I want to start the New Year on a good note. So, I pulled myself out of bed, got a little dressed up, brushed my hair, cleansed and moisturized my face, applied some tint and turned on my computer. I know it's TMI but for people like us, even the little chores like these can take a lot of efforts. Therefore, let's not lose hope and bid adieu to 2020 like the true warriors we are. 

This was not our year

We lost people near and dear,

Yet we fought and won like warriors

So, hold on to your hopes and tighten your gears

Here's wishing everyone a very

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Adios 2020! 💓

Set Of A New Dawn!

Hey everyone! Umm, I don't know how to start, but it has been a long time. It has been months since I last wrote. Let alone write; I almost disappeared from the blogging world. A lot has changed in these few months. I think I gave the same intro in my last post as well. But, this time, the changes were catastrophic. I, never in my life imagined I could go through something like this. Well, to be precise, my life turned upside down this year. It changed overnight. If you know me or follow me on social media, then you definitely know I got a job this year. Yes, I'm super grateful for that, and that is a good change.

You must be wondering if everything is okay, then what do I mean by "catastrophic changes."? Well, if you know me somehow, then you also know I had a long-term relationship with a very special person. He was a part of my life for eleven years. Okay, how do I say this? We broke up. Yes, we are not together anymore. No, I don't have any hard feelings for him, and I wish him all the very best in his life. However, the whole breakup experience was quite traumatic for me. I never imagined it would happen, but the universe had other plans, and it happened.

Nevertheless, I have some wonderful people in my life who held my hand and helped me through this whole process. I may sound like a whining teenager to you but trust me it's hard. I am 22, and I had my entire life figured out, and then everything came crashing down, which shattered my heart.

Some of you might also want to know how am I now? I am trying to put my broken pieces together and just live my life. I don't want to think about the past or future. I want to feel each moment I am living because you never know if you'd get the chance to experience it again. The two things I am trying to learn are self-love and prioritising myself over anyone else. I can proudly say now "I choose to make myself happy, and I won't feel guilty about it."

So, that was it. The major life update I had to give, or you can say I'm giving myself a closure with this post. I don't have any idea what I wrote and if anything made any sense at all. What am I hoping for now?

Well,

Walking through the lawn,

 Looked back at the life I've drawn,

I smiled, a little withdrawn

Walked ahead towards the 

Set Of a New Dawn!

A Piece From My Heart To Yours!

Hey beautiful people, what's up? I haven't written a blog in a while now. Actually, I've been MIA from everywhere for quite some time. I created this blog to share my feelings and thoughts with you. This is a personal space for me. Journaling my thoughts is a habit that developed over the years. It helped me get through some difficult phases. I never really spoke out about my depression or anxiety before. The first time I spoke out about it was on this blog only where I wrote A Letter To My Younger Self. Now, the reason why I've been absent from everywhere is that I'm going through a very difficult phase in my life.

First, let me be very clear. I'm not writing this to gain any form of sympathy. If this helps you in any way then that's great. So, here goes my story.

So, something happened that broke my confidence terribly. Even though, I know I don't deserve what I got but still I got it. This is the reason it hurts so much. If I deserved what I got I'd be fine. I don't know if I'm making any sense at all but this is why it's happening. My anxiety is at the highest peak. It's this feeling that keeps haunting me and makes me think I'm good for nothing. This is a dark phase in my life and everyone goes through some dark phases.

 The one thing I know for sure is I'll come out of it. Sooner or later I'll overcome it and maybe a few years back when I look back I'll be glad that this happened. I've some amazing people who are there for me no matter what. But, this time is hard. I can't sleep, I don't want to eat, I don't feel like doing anything. But, I push myself every day to get through this and make myself understand that this is a part of life.

Being an introvert, I've very limited people whom I trust and they are well aware of what I'm going through. It feels like life is falling apart but at the same time I know I'd be able to pull it together. Whenever I feel like I'll collapse I close my eyes and think of all the good things that happened in my life. I write and listen to some soulful music. I read some good inspiring quotes. I came across this quote which says "Give yourself credit for the days you've made it when you thought you couldn't" and that's definitely something to be proud of. I'm a girl who will not give up no matter how strong the storm is or how much it brings me down. I'll fight and live through it. Some days are more terrible than other and some are hard.

So, yeah that's my story for now. Just remember one thing "Only you can help yourself and only you can fight for yourself.". You have to face it and giving up is definitely not an option. Every cloud has a silver lining.

Giving a piece from my heart to yours

Everything has a cure.

Don't stop believing

Cuz' life is worth living.

Pain is a phase

that makes you chase  

the beauty of life 

that you desperately thrive!

Goodnight People, sweet dreams!

Images from pexels.com!

Fear- Is it a blessing in disguise?

Hey guys, what's up? So, for this blog post I decided to write upon a topic which is related to every single being on this planet- fear! If you say, you don't fear anything then chances are you are lying. Now, a question which often makes me wonder is whether fear is a boon or blessing in disguise?

Image Source: Pexels.com

Fear- What is it to you? For me it's an emotion which can take control over our lives if we let it. We have the power to keep it in control. Fear is a natural human feeling. Every human being fears one thing or the other. We all fear of losing our loved ones or things that have a sentimental value. Someone fears death while someone fears life. But, will we let fear control our lives? Absolutely not, instead we can take it in a positive way. Everything in life has two sides: positive and negative. You either see the glass as half empty or half full. I'll prefer the later. While we fear losing our loved ones we know at the same time that we'll lose some of them in our lifetime- be it a person or a pet. This prepares us mentally for that kind of situation. It makes us stronger and better. Fear of failure pushes us to work hard and follow excellence. Fear of death makes us more acceptable to it because we know one day or the other death will come to us.Some of us may fear of living alone but we may have to live alone at some point in our lives. It prepares us for that also. We should not let fear chain us up to a certain place.

Image Source: Pixabay.com

As the saying goes "Fear has two meanings- Forget Everything and Run Or Face everything and rise." The choice is yours. You can't let fear conquer you and put you inside a bubble instead you should conquer fear and break the bubble. Fear makes us brave. Also, remember "Our largest fear carries our greatest growth." You got to decide whether you want it more or you are afraid of it more."

Image Source: Pixabay.com

Don't let fear stop you from living and don't let it conquer your dreams. If you look into the eyes of fear then fear will fear you and leave. I think we all got the answer to my question that fear if taken positively then it can prove to be a powerful blessing in disguise.

Image Source: Pixabay.com

A Letter To My Younger Self.

Hey everyone, what's up. So, for my next blog post I decided to write a letter to my 16 year old self who struggled a lot with everything. I'm not writing this to gain sympathy or anything. I just thought of sharing something which I think may help a lot of young people who are struggling with some issues. This letter may come as a shock to many of my family and friends or more than shock I'd like to say surprise. It's extremely personal and close to my heart.

Pic Courtesy: Google Images.

Dear Airene,
                     Hi! How are you? Though I know the  answer to this question but still I thought this would be a good start. Life is miserable I know. You are sixteen and you are consistently failing in everything. Your grades are dropping. You are confused. Your friends are leaving and nobody understands you. You are suffering from major depression and anxiety. You can't sleep at night. You feel like ending your life and there's nothing for you to live with.

Pic Courtesy: Google Images,

Trust me, girl you are wrong. Those sleeping pills aren't gonna help you. Why are you harming yourself? The people who made you shed tears aren't worth it. Trust me, you're going to realise it a few years later. You've got your parents who I know is a little overprotective now but trust me you're the world to them. They've got no one except you. You have got an amazing boyfriend who loves you unconditionally and will be with you years from now. You've got your best friend who is willing to go against the world for you. You have got a mother like cousin who loves you like her own daughter. Don't keep things shut to yourself. Open up, talk to someone , get help. Those grades on the paper doesn't decide your value. Eventually, you'll do what you love and always wanted. You'll be happy and content in life. You have lost many people and Thank God you did. You don't need them. Learn to love yourself a little.

Pic Courtesy: Google Images.

Trust me, life's gonna be a thousand times better than what it is now. You will still struggle but you will overcome it like a boss. You'll be stronger and better. You will have people who will love you with all their life and you'll love them back. They'll accept you for who you are, what you are and how you are. You are going to be a die hard animal lover. You'll have lots of pet.

Pic Courtesy: Google Images.

So, gain lessons from these experience and start living your life. You don't want to miss out on so many awesome things. Trust me, life is short and worth giving a shot.

                                                                                                                                     Yours truly,

From a better, stronger and happier

Your  21 year old self.

Pic Courtesy: Google Images

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Friendship~ The Essence Of LIfe!

Hey everyone, what's up? Since. this is my first post on this blog, it had to be special right? As we are starting a new journey, let's talk about friendship.💗

Pic Courtesy: Google Images!

Friendship- What is friendship to you? For me it is the essence of life. Friendship is something which begins at where everything ends. It is a bond which can't be described in words. Friendship is where quality matters over quantity. It doesn't matter if you have a gang of hundred people and you get no one by your side in your tough times but if you've one friend who's there for you no matter what, then my dear don't let that person go. He/she is your one true friend. True friends are the gem of life. When you got a true friend your life lightens up from every side. If you're worried about who your true friends really are, then don't worry because eventually it'll be clear as water. When you feel lonely and feel like you've lost everything your best-friend will be there saying "Chill man, let's go out" . Remember we never lose friends, we just know who our friends really are!

Pic Courtesy: Google Images.

Summing this up by a few lines:

Saying this out loud 

You make me proud; 

An angel in disguise 

You never fail to surprise. 

For one thing I fear 

I hate to see you in tears. 

I promise you my friend 

This bond I’ll let never end!

Pic Courtesy: Google images.

                                             

This post is dedicated to my best friend Anuradha. I love you to the moon and back!

So, this friendship day gift your friends by showing your gratitude towards them. Trust me the smile they'll have is worth more than a million dollars.

Happy Friendship Day!

Pic Courtesy: Google images!